Pleasure an Antidote ...

Pleasure

Before we left Christchurch I went with Tom Matthews to a lecture given by Dr Rob Gordon on the emotional and psychological recovery for people living in Christchurch post EQ ... particularly on the East Side. Dr Gordon is an expert in recovery from trauma re natural disasters and has done a lot of research on how people recover and what to expect in their recovery process. He has been very helpful with his expertise and information ... making sense of what has been a really hard, distressing, painful and stressful situation for most people living in a post EQ city. One of his suggestions is to increase  pleasure ... he said pleasure stores energy ... which many people have very little of in Christchurch and is an antidote to stress and the increase of cortisol levels in the brain.

As I sat listening to him I could not remember the last time I had experienced pleasure ... there have been times when I have hurt physically living in Christchurch. Riding through the streets and seeing buildings coming down ... going through the centre of town ... the centre that is no longer there and seeing the amount of destruction  and empty lots I found overwhelming ... this is my hometown and I would feel a deep upwelling of grief and I would hurt, like a deep ache inside me. I wondered if it would ever end and if I would ever feel pleasure again. Visiting our house that we lost in the EQ I would feel such a deep sense of loss and pain ...

In the last 2 weeks I have felt pleasure ... so much of it. Walking around lake Runnemede in the evening and seeing beavers, turtles, people fishing ... reading a book ... not having to jump out of bed to start my day ... lars and Roxcy ... these are all moments ... some of them not very long, but I feel absolute pleasure. I am seeing things that I have not seen in a long time. I am seeing them through the eyes of pleasure ... and I am grateful.

Lars & Roxcy after our Train Ride.

War ... What is it good for ...

A Dressed House for Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day here in the US so it is a public holiday ... much like ANZAC day in NZ. There was a parade in Windsor ... a small one, the local school band was playing, a scout troop, returned servicemen and a few others in the parade that I did not recognise ... the locals came out to watch, the parade stopped the traffic for a while on the main street as a trumpeter played Taps. Windsor is a small town ... more of a village really and so the commemoration was small.

I started thinking about War ... as I do each ANZAC day in NZ ... I thought about the people, men, women, children and communities that have been affected by war. The men and women who went to war believing that they were going to change the world ... or win a war ... that their contribution was going to make a difference in some way.

Pete's Grandfather died in WW2 ... I wonder if that was the reason Syd ... Pete's Father decided to go to war and lied about his age so he could. I am not aware of any family members close to me that have gone to war and died. I am sure there are, but I do not know of them, maybe I have not been listening enough. I have not felt strongly enough about anything that I would die for ... except my children. I am aware that I possibly have a rather romantic view of all of this and that in some parts of the world there is no choice about serving in the Armed Forces. But I am moved by their commitment to a cause that could possibly end in their death.

There are no winners in war ... we are all losers! But I believe it is important to remember those who have died ... not only those who have died, but those who loved them, those who grieve their loss and the loss of a future and dreams. Today I feel like war is everywhere ... it is so sensationalised that I wonder if we have become numb to it and to the pain that is the outcome of war ... the destruction of peoples lives and communities? I look at our Grandchildren and I wonder what sort of world will they live in and what sort of wars will be fought in their lifetime. I wish a world of peace for them, a world where there is compassion, beauty and acceptance in difference ... a world where they feel safe ... no matter where they are.

We have had a very peaceful Memorial Day ... we enjoyed the company of the Larson Family and friends. The weather was pleasant, we started the day with a tandem ride and finished the day going on a Beaver Hunt with Lars and Roxcy round the lake ... we saw 4 Beaver ... again. I am so grateful we started our trip here. We are having such a relaxing time and I love our nightly walks round Lake Runnemede and watching and listening to the wildlife that lives there.

Here are some photos of plants that I think are beautiful ... so alive ... so peaceful ...

Perfection ... Reminds me of NZ

Green Goes with Everything

Bee at Work

Pete ...

Pete and lars

Pete and I have been married for just over 34 years ... that time has gone by fast ... and sometimes it has been real slow. We have 4 children ... Mike 33 ... lucy 31 ... Mack 27 and Alice 23 (almost). I have learnt a lot about myself over these last 34 years of marriage and 4 children ... now 2 daughters -in-law and 3 grandchildren ... and I have learnt some things about what it means to be in a long term relationship.

When I married Pete I had no thought of time or how long we would be married or what it even meant to be married. I am sure if I did I would have been way too scared to make the decision, it would have felt way beyond my ability or commitment level. But here I am 34 years later ... with Pete ... and no regrets!

Pete has been a loyal partner and Father and the happiness of his family has been and continues to be
his primary concern. He has worked very, very hard over the last 34 years to provide for his family and some times that has been at great sacrifice to himself. I have a tremendous respect for how Pete has worked and provided for us and I believe that if he never does anything else in his life he has already done a great thing. There has never been a time when we have had to worry about our safety, where Pete is or when he will be home or if we have enough ... of anything! Family means everything to Pete!

For those of you who have known Pete for a while will know of his generosity of spirit ... he is very generous with himself with others. He enjoys people and will spend time engaging in conversation with anyone! He is fascinated by peoples history/stories and can be entertained for hours in conversation with someone about themselves! He is a very intelligent man and sometimes does not suffer fools well. He is also very creative in his work and in his thinking. He loves poetry and prose and is quite artistic in his likes ...  some might say a little feminine. He has a great sense of humour ... I get great pleasure out of listening to him roar with laughter at a funny movie. He has compassion for others in their difficulties and is very generous in their celebrations and achievements. He is willing to always help in any way he can ... references ... shifting ... listening to someone ...or helping someone in their work. He has a natural tendency to think good of others or that everything will work out. An eternal optimist.

Since being away with him over these last 2 weeks there are some things that I have noticed about Pete that I have not seen before. He looks after me very well! He is very patient with me ... rarely criticises me and looks at me in a loving way. He is affectionate and enjoys my company. I can see that I really matter to him ... I find this very humbling. He is so nice to me and so patient ... particularly on the tandem. He is wonderful with our grandchildren ... Lars, Roxcy and Elizabeth ... he loves them and gets such a thrill out of being with them. Who wouldn't ... they are the coolest.

I am very grateful that 34 years ago I made a decision that has had such a dramatic effect on me and changed my life for good in every possible way.

Pete and Roxcy ... watching Wreck it Ralph

An Evening on Lake Runnemede

I have mentioned that Mike & Chris live right on Lake Runnemede ... this is a man made lake that was left to the town by the Evart Family who made it in 1902 ... we love walking around the lake in the evenings and it is quite the hive of activity for people in the local township ... activities like fishing, running, walking, photographing for nature lovers and a place for teenagers to hang out and make out.

Pete and I went walking round the lake the other evening and it was so beautiful ...

Pete and Lake Runnemede

There was a lot happening on the lake this night ... fishing, walking and runners...but so peaceful! This photo only captures part of the lake, my favourite part is further round where the water life really comes alive. Canadian Geese settle in this part of the lake and they are scary ... so territorial ... I have been run and hissed at by one when I have run round this part of the lake. 

When we got further round there was a Beaver party going on ... I have never seen a Beaver in my life. They were awesome ... they were jumping out of the lake and then slapping their tails on the water as they dived back in. There must have been at least 4 of them! What a treat for us. I really love this part of the lake where they live ... there are 2 beaver residence on the Lake ... neighbours.

Beaver Residence # 1

Beaver Residence # 2 Note Beaver in Background

Beaver

We take Lars and Roxcy walking round the lake ... telling them we are going on a Beaver Hunt ... unfortunately tonight there were no Beaver out. There was an amazing rainbow though ... in perfect form. The children loved it.

I have one more photo to post ... this is for Tom Matthews. Pete wanted to brag about Mike's handyman expertise. 

Mike's Handy Work

Lars is standing in front of a boiler that Mike put in as a temporary replacement for one of the apartments he manages ... the boiler had blown up and the tenants had no hot water ... the part they needed was taking ages to arrive so Mike installed the above hot water tank as a gap filler until the part arrives. Pretty good work! Not to boast ...

Will that be small, medium or large ...

Some of you know our son Mackenzie ... aka Mack ... who lives in Dunedin with his wife Ite and their beautiful daughter Elizabeth, my most favourite Elizabeth in the whole world! Mack has completed his study in Physical Ed and Fitness with a post graduate diploma in High Performance Sport Conditioning ... I think? Mack has been helping and advising Pete on his weight program and general fitness. While skyping with Mack the other day he recommended that Pete buy some protein powder to help him buff up and help with his energy levels, he recommended Syntha-6 which apparently is one of the better protein powders. I immediately went to Amazon.com ... the answer to all shopping needs and ordered Pete's container of protein powder and this is what arrived ...

A new meaning of Large

I guess I did not pay attention to what size I was ordering ... I am not sure that Pete will ever get through this while we are here! But as you can see there is going to be plenty of nutrition ... lean muscle and recovery. I now have a new understanding of what large means! I will pay much more attention to size and weight when ordering something next time. You can get plenty of bang for your buck when buying large here in the US.

A Bicycle Built for Two ... A Metaphor for Marriage!

As many of you know Mike bought a tandem for Pete and I to use while in VT and a tandem trailer for lars and Roxcy ... the trailer has not arrrived yet, this gives Pete and I time to get used to riding together on the tandem. This is a dream come true for me! Something that I have always wanted to do with our children ... pull them around on a trailer! So far we have been out on it 3 times! Our second ride was 32 miles round trip ... last night we did a 12 mile ride. For those of you who don't know Windsor VT ... there is a lot of hill riding! I thought you might be interested in the technical side of tandem riding  ... no you do not just get on and start riding ... it is a whole new cycling experience!

Firstly there is a 'Captain' and a 'Stoker'. Yes the captain sits on the front and the stoker sits on the back. The captain's job is to look after the stoker ... let them know everything that they are doing ... when they are changing gear ... when they are going to cruise ... when there is a bump in the road and not ride too close to parked cars ... which could lead to stress and anxiety in the stoker, let the stoker know when you are going to stop. The captain also needs to be very, very, very, careful about what they eat because their butt is right in the face of the stoker ... and no stoker wants to be down wind of any captains flatulence. This is a very upclose and personal riding experience.

The stokers job is to keep still ... let the captain know at all times what they are doing on the back ... I am having a drink now ... I want to stop pedalling ... I am standing up and pedalling (who does that on the back of a tandem?) I want to get off. The stoker needs to move their hands a lot while on the back or they will get numb hands or pins and needles, or stiffness in their elbows or arms. The stoker gets of first and the captain gets on first.

Cadence/rhythm is very important when riding a tandem ... riding at the same pace makes riding a lot easier and pleasant for both riders. Communication is extremely important ... both riders need to be absolutely clear about what they are saying ... what is said and what is heard can be very different so being very clear about instructions or needs is absolutely necessary so that there is no misunderstanding or near death experiences or serious relationship misunderstandings that could result in some serious attachment issues in a relationship. When communicating tone is everything!

I have not even mentioned about how to look after your nether regions ... but those of you who bike know that the seat you ride on is everything!

You are now wondering how Pete and I are getting on in this new part of our relationship ... tandem riding? We are now starting at the same time and easily ... we both have the same foot on the ground and on the pedal. Pete is captain ... I am picking that did not take too much time to guess ... I am stoker and I work hard ... that is nothing new for those who know me. Pete sits on the seat like he sleeps ... a lot of fidgeting and movement ... remember the stokers job is to be very still ... that is what I do ... any movement can move the bike very easily.  There are some issues in cadence/rhythm when biking up hills ... Pete can sometimes ease of and I am pumping away as hard as I can to get up that hill asap! This does cause some communication problems and tone does become an issue.

When we first started riding together there was quite a bit of communication going on and the tone was not very nice ... I will not say who or what ... but just putting it out there ... I have to be honest about this experience for all of you potential tandem riders and after this blog I am thinking that there will be many of you that will be excited and impatient to buy a tandem for you and your closest!

The view is great from the front and the person in the front gets to see everything first ... look at those solar panels lizzie they look really cool ... maybe 10 seconds+ later I am catching up and not even sure where to look? But the stoker has the freedom of looking where ever they want with no responsibility for safety or possible danger ... the captain has the responsibility of making sure the stoker gets home alive ... the stoker can enjoy the ride ... so to speak.

Stopping is an issue ... what gear to be in can be challenging and how fast we go down hill can cause some anxiety. Last night we went on a beautiful ride ... very uphill and quite challenging for us! We were working! At one point ... well into our ride Pete ... the captain ... said I can't do this ... I thought he was saying I am stopping ... so I immediately decleeted myself and proceeded to get of the bike ... Peter started communicating with me in a loud voice and a tone while I was trying to get of the bike ... which began to fall and there I was on the road, with the bikeseat up my butt and my other foot stuck in my cleet! At which point a car came up the road ... yes humiliating! Pete then said ... 'all I said was I can't do this ... I do not say abandon ship!' What I need to convey to you is that trying to get of a bike when the other rider is still riding is very difficult ... but I did it.

I could write for hours on the comparison of tandem riding and being married ... but I wont because I know that it would bore you and I am not sure if any of you will read this blog anyway, but before I sign of ... what you have been waiting for ... a video of Pete and I riding the tandem ... ENJOY!

My Name is Sue ... Now You're Going to Die!

Today ... Tuesday ... we took lars and Roxcy to Montshire's Museum and it is awesome. I think any child would have fun here! Montshire is a science museum with lots of very cool things to do and see. lars and Roxcy spent a long time outside in the water part of the museum getting very wet. The purpose in going was to see Sue ... Sue is a Tyrannosaurus Rex that was discovered in Dakota ... I am not sure when. She is impressive and looks just like a TRex from Jurassic Park. Apparently she is the largest, best preserved and most complete TRex every found. There are some very cool things to see and do here. 

My Name is Sue ...

Perfection ... 

Color ... 

I loved watching these two little cuties today ... 

lars the Invincible

Wild Roxcy

Lars was totally into the water ... he was so involved, looking at him was like looking at Mike all over again as a little boy. The same kind of intensity and interest. Roxcy runs  everywhere! She does not stop moving. In a world of her own brushing up against others then running on. Sometimes I look at her and I see lucy! This little girl is very solid with herself in the world and knows exactly where she fits. Mike and Chris are doing such an awesome job of loving and parenting these two perfect little children that we are loving to pieces.

One last shot before I finish ... 

A Hard Days Work

Today has been perfect!

The Green Mountain State ... Don't Step on Me!

We have arrived!

A little bit of NZ in Vermont

It is the end of Spring here in Windsor VT ... the days are blue and sunny with a slight cool breeze ... Mike and Chris talk about how warm the days are here at the moment, having come out of a long and hard winter ... I still feel like it is a little cool at times ... the difference in hemispheres, but we are enjoying our warm blue days, such a contrast from Christchurch and so good to be away from grey, grey, grey and then wet, wet, wet ... isn't that the name of a song ... an 80s song? 

I find it weird to see daffodils and tulips in the gardens here ... I took a photo for you lucy ... 

For lucy ... I thought of you 

I have been completely disorientated and have had no idea what day it is or where north/south/east/west is or even the time ... the days seem to be very long! But I think that is because I am running on two clocks ... Southern and Northern Hemispheres ...

This describes us at the moment

We are loving spending time with lars and Roxcy ... they are the cutest children. Roxcy runs everywhere and talks away to herself all the time. She is very assertive ... knows exactly what she wants and is a very confident little girl ... and to top it of she has this amazing red hair! Her hair is sooo awesome! At times I try to imagine her with hair a different color and I can't. I think Roxcy would be a completely different girl without her amazing red hair. She is tiny but mighty ... seriously! A little girl that knows her mind and where she is going and she is so extroverted.

lars is the cutest ... he told me today that he loved Pete and Roxcy loved me. I asked him if he loved me too and he said 'No' ... what do you say? He has an amazing run ... like his whole body is going at the same speed ... I really cannot describe it ... I hope to get a video up of him running at some point. We went to watch him at Karate on Saturday morning, he works so hard and is one of the youngest in his group. He is pretty good I think ... but does get distracted by the others in the class. He starts school in August. He is a lovely little boy who has a real sense of adventure like his Dad ... he has a whole other world going on in his head, like he lives in two worlds. He rides his bike like a BMX and he looks really proud of his riding achievements.

After School Treats!

Bath Time with Lars' Cars

Lars' Cars from Great Grandma

We took the children out for an evening walk around Lake Runnemeade. Mike and Chris' house backs onto it. It is a manmade water reserve and it is beautiful. There are fish, frogs, beavers, and turtles. We took a photo for the Matthews children ... we are going out again tonight to see if we can see some larger ones ... it is their mating season.

For the Matthews

I took this photo with the zoom lense of our camera ... it is a bit blurry, but not bad for a novice! I thought of the Matthews children when I saw these two sitting on their log and I could not help but think what fun they would have here and what a wonderful world it would look to them and through their eyes ... they would have so much fun here ... I will take a photo of a beavers home next time. They are huge given the size of the beavers and it must take them ages to build!

We have been staying at The Inn since we arrived ... which has been really good, it has given us time to adjust to a new time zone and recover from our flights. The Inn is beautiful and the beds are so comfortable ... tonight we move in with Mike and Chris and we are looking forward to staying with them and being closer to the children.

The Princess and the Pea Bed

 While we have been here I have wanted to post a photo of Elizabeth and Roxcy ...

Elizabeth Cammock

Roxcy Cammock

I love the photo of these two little girls ... they are the best and to think that they are first cousins. The difference in hair color and skin color is so awesome!

Before I sign out there is one more photo that I could not resist ...

Pete having quality time with lars ...

We have done some tandem riding ... a metaphor for marriage! Looking forward to doing a lot more! But I donot want to be boring ... so you will have to wait for next time. I hope that some of you are reading this. 

Leaving on a Jet Plane ....

Well the day has arrived ... feeling very pressured. Scared and excited at the same time ... just packed ... hair cut ... room empty and goodies bought! Can't leave home without them.

A little something for the Family

Last night looked like this ...

There is order in Chaos ...

There are some people that we will miss while we are away and I want you to see yourself in print ...

Daddy & his Princess

Ite & Elizabeth ... beautiful!!

Our Baby!

The Matthews Children ...

I will miss reading to them ... and having them come and hang out at our place!

Farewell until next year ... keep yourselves safe ... that includes you lucy ... who would not be photographed. 

A big thank you to Gail ... she has been my stability while I have been chaotic! I need to go and get ready to leave .... here we come!

Final Days in Dunedin

We have exactly a week and we are gone. Pete is down here in Dunedin with me ... he is working and I am spending as much time as I can with Elizabeth ... she is sooooo cute!!

Born to be Queen

Life is so simple with children ... feed, change nappies, play, sleep! Nothing complicated except when she doesn't get what she wants ... man can she scream! I took her for a walk yesterday and she got so angry at me and started to pull my ears of my head! In some ways she reminds me of Mack when he was a boy ... he had a temper on him at times.

Today has been so beautiful ... blue sky and sunny ... almost hot. I thought I would use the day to take some photos of my favourite buildings here in Dunedin. There are some amazing buildings here. I wonder if they stand out to me more since we have lost nearly all of our old buildings, not that there were many. So here is my pick of buildings in Dunedin. 

Inside Train Station

Dunedin Railway Station 

Art Deco 

I love this building ... it is part of the new Settlers Museum. Definitely my vintage in architecture. Check out these doors ...

I have lots of memories of this look growing up! 

          I love these 2 buildings!

The Savoy Building, the upstairs is now a restaurant. I love the windows and I hope they show up in enough in my photo.

Gothic Cathedral

There are lots of these beautiful old Cathedrals/Churches in Dunedin. 

I really liked the colors of these trees ... autumn is coming to a close and we are moving into winter. Autumn has amazing colors ... it has been pretty horrid this year with lots of rain and grey days, but today was a perfect autumn day. 

This post has been an attempt to show some of the buildings that I have fallen deeply in love with!! There are some things in life that cannot be replaced when lost ... that hold a history of a place. That can tell a story of communities and what was important to them. Dunedin has lots of old churches ... built by communities that valued their belief in God and their Churches were a place where they would meet together ... maybe even a place that pulled communities together. That is how I see it anyway. I think that the rebuild of ChCh is a stark contrast ... the rebuild is not built around communities ... but around business and money. I wonder how our city will look in the future ... a city built up by communities or business ... dollars!?

I am wondering what Gail will think of my photos ... composition and light ... I am afraid I am a point and shoot photographer... hoping that everything will look good in the end.