A Eulogy for Ben ...

Our Friend Ben

We learnt yesterday that our friend Ben was on the MH17 flight that was shot down over the Ukraine. We were flying from Boston to Phoenix and our plane had TV and internet. Pete was watching the news on the flight when Ashley's FB message came through to let us know that Ben was on the flight.  It felt surreal that he could have been on that flight and we feel an incredible sense of loss. We have loved our friendship with Ben. He's always been such a warm, welcoming, humorous and fun part of our lives. I am at a loss for words! We find it hard to believe that Ben is no longer with us. 

We met Ben when Sasha Giles came to live with us ... he came with the Giles. I remember it as being an instant love affair. He was so friendly and so generous with himself. If there was a way to describe Ben it would have to be 'big heart'! Through the years we got to know Ben well ... his home was our go to place when ever we went to Queenstown which was quite a lot while Sash lived with us ... Ben's B&B. All of our children have spent some time staying or living with Ben, along with many other people that we met over the years. Ben provided employment for Sash and Ashley and in turn our children ... they have all worked for him, in some way or other. 

I remember Ben as smart, funny, charismatic, quick, generous, adventurous, enquiring, honest, flamboyant... he gave of himself selflessly to others, he was courageous ... he moved from Belgium to Queenstown ... then to Bali, which he loved and became home to him and of course where he met Puput, I think he was his happiest in Bali. He was always encouraging of people reaching their dreams and their potential and he loved to see those he loved and cared about do well. He loved Sash and Ashley Giles! He gave the best of himself to everything he did and to everyone he cared about. He loved Abba and Queen ... he loved to dance. I remember him loving action movies and returning from trips overseas with many pirated DVDs he had picked up. He was a spiritually sensitive man and talked often about his Jesuit education that had a profound effect on his life. He accepted everyone that came into his life ... with love and generosity. 

I remember many interesting conversations with Ben ... when we visited Queenstown and when he would come to Christchurch and visit with us. A rapid drive in his Landrover through Skippers Canyon, a tramp where we had gourmet food ... not freeze dried. Ben was there when Mike & Chris got engaged. Yachting trips he was planning for groups of people ... Mike & Chris being on one of those trips. Ben always brought a sense of adventure and possibility. In his mind anything was possible and that's how he lived. 

We are so glad  that we made the trip to NYC to see Ben and meet Puput. In pure Ben style their honeymoon was meticulously planned and included business class seats, the best hotels and some of the best places in the US to visit. All for Puput. Ben had 'style'. Our last words to Ben were 'We love you Ben' as we hugged him goodbye on the streets of NYC and we watched Ben & Puput continue on their honeymoon and life together. He looked so happy ... it felt like no time had passed at all between us. There is a warm comfort that comes from meeting with old friends. The world seems a duller place without him in it. We will miss him.

New York with Ben & Puput 

A wonderful Time with Old Friends and New

This is for you Ben ...