Alice Mary Cammock ... Our Baby

Today is Alice's birthday ... she is 23. It feels like yesterday that she was a baby and my life was full and busy with being the Mother of 4 very busy young children ... who have changed our lives forever.

We tried, very hard and for a long time to get pregnant with Alice ... 14 months to be exact! Nothing was happening.  I remember getting really discouraged and thinking that I did not want to go through this kind of anticipation and let down each month, so I told Pete no more! I was done and we would have to settle with 3 ... where upon Pete replied "I feel like we have gone shopping lizzie and left one of the children behind." I replied ..."well someone else can collect it from the lost and found, we're not!" Then ... along came Alice.

Alice is our baby! She was a beautiful baby ... curly hair that hung round her shoulders, beautiful pale skin ... she looked like a Pears Print baby. She was a pleasure and a joy to have in our family. I had Alice at home ... 131 Somerfield Street, Christchurch, at about 8am in the morning ... Mike, lucy and Mack were there to watch her come into the world. My labour was longer than I expected and pushing her into the world was hard work ... she was our biggest baby. I will always remember those moments of pushing life into the world and the anticipation of waiting to hear is it a boy or a girl and then holding that new little person for the first time ... words cannot describe the exquisiteness of those moments ... holding each one of our children for the first time ... I have found each one of those moments incredibly moving, powerful and so full of love, there is no other feeling that can match it!

Alice was named after both of my Grandmothers ... Alice, my father's mother ... Mary, my mother's mother. These women were incredibly significant and powerful women in my life. Mary taught me to bake, clean and cook. I remember her as a little woman with white hair but she was tough and a hard worker. Alice was a lady ... she talked with a plum in her mouth ... she took me to ballet, opera, paid for my Scottish Dancing and swimming lessons and was always very kind and loving to me. Before Alice was born I knew I wanted to name her after these 2 women ... it felt so right to me ... and I wanted Alice to have a name that meant something significant, something that she could carry with pride ... I hope that is the case.

Alice has always been quite a big personality ... the youngest of 4 ... trailing behind the others trying to keep up and never wanting to be left behind. When she was little and would get sick, she would lie down on the couch with a stool beside her set with a tablecloth, water /juice, tissues and any other medicinal things that she might need to look after herself. She insisted on learning to play the piano at 5! I was a little concerned she might be too young and tried to talk her out of it ... to no avail ... she has been playing since she was 6. I remember when she got 'Student of the Year' at Addington Primary School ... a great school for Alice ... she was so proud of herself. She was dreadful at maths, she hated it and just did not get it! We had an interview with her year 10 maths teacher ... I walked in and introduced myself as Alice's Mother, her maths teacher said "... yes Alice ... well what can I say!" I knew things were really bad in that moment ... I think we must have spent 1,000s of dollars on Maths tuition for Alice ... she passed all her NCEA maths papers ... thank goodness and has never spent another year of her life with maths, it was a bad relationship from the start!

Alice is honest, what you see is what you get! She is very organised and tidy, even when she tries to be messy. She loves cars and she loves driving Pete's Fraser. She loves road trips ... one of our best was when Alice and I went down the West Coast together ... 2011 ... I loved that trip together. She is loyal ... like her sister ... if you tell Alice something it goes into a vault full of confidences. She is a good friend. She loves music and loves going to concerts. She loves the written word ... The Hours is one of her favourite books and films. She has strong opinions about things and is not afraid to speak out/up about something. She has a good sense of humour and a funny laugh. She is kind to people ... her employers really like her. She is great with children. She is a really good cook! She is disciplined ...  she perseveres ... she will keep at something until she gets it right. I remember watching her at swimming lessons one day and she was getting ready to dive of the block and I heard her saying ... 'I can do this' over and over to herself ... and she did it! She has courage to face hard things even when she is scared ... like her trip to the States ... solo. She is passionate about things she feels strongly about ... she has dreams and a vision for her life and knows what she wants to do and where she is going ... most of the time. She loves poetry, the arts, playing the piano and singing. I remember going to listen to Alice sing, with lucy, Rosie, Josh and Pete ... she sang a Cowboy Junkies song and we all cried ... then she sang Carol King ... what I remember most about her concert was her ease in being in her body ... she seemed so different, so alive, so relaxed, her body moved so freely and relaxed ... Pete would call that flow! Alice loves singing. Alice is a thinker. She loves home and being near home.

I love hugging Alice ... I love feeling her in my arms and holding her close to me. I love having her cuddle up to me on the couch. I love how she is so willing to cook for me. After Feb 2011 Alice was the person that kept our family together ... she would make sure we went grocery shopping ... she would cook meals ... she would take me to the to the Riccarton Market each Saturday ... she looked after us ... at some cost to herself. Such a selfless act of love ... Alice had lost her home ... Pete was away all the time with Uni work and did not get home until late at night ... I was in a constant state of PTSD! I don't know what we would have done without you, thank you! I love going to concerts with Alice ... I love her passion and I am inspired by her courage to do things that seem so hard and overwhelming. I love how she tries so hard to make people happy particularly her family. I love her vulnerability, there is strength in vulnerability. I love how her eyes go big and wide when she is scared or upset about something. We miss you.

 Classy Lady

 Alice in Chicago...Cool Chick

Alice loves lillie ... these are for you!

Happy Birthday Alice ... We love you!